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Author Topic: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...  (Read 4259 times)

Bloodniron

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Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« on: September 08, 2010, 10:09:56 AM »

I've been married 29 years, have 4 grown children and 2 grandkids.  I'm a high school teacher.

But all I can think about is World of Warcraft.  How is Bloodniron going to tweak a few more points of damage outta his build/gear/rotation?

My wife left me yesterday.  Whether for good, or to give me a chance to get my shit together, I do not know.  She won't talk to me yet.  Says she will call me Sunday.

Does this sound familiar?  On every typical day of the week, if I'm not at work, I'm on the computer.  If my wife and I have not made plans to do something, I'm on the computer.  Every night of every week for the past several months, my wife has gone to bed alone.  Unless... it was one of those more and more rare occasions where we are going to have sex. 

Every night she comes to me, and says "I'm going to bed, good night," and I say, "I'm just finishing this (whatever thing) up, I'll be in there in just a minute." And two or three hours later I go to bed.

Don't get me wrong, there are other factors.  Like the fact that there are all kinds of unfinished projects around my house.  Why are they unfinished?  Because I would rather play Warcraft.

I can't go on this way.  I'm not deleting my toons, but I am going to unsubscribe, and see how things go.  I have to get my life back to being a life, and whether I gain my wife back or not, I have to do something better with my life than spend the rest of my non-working moments thinking about, researching into, and playing a game that by its very nature and design, has nothing to offer but at best, a momentary distraction.  If I can work it out where I might spend an hour or two at most every other day, or just a few days a week, I might do that.  But I have to man up, take charge of my house, and get things in order.

I have made Warcraft my wife, and my wife a mistress... And its a sad sad day.  I spent hours crying last night.  I finally logged into the game just to see if a few of my close WoW friends might be on to talk with them.  Did find one.  Anyways, I will not be playing for awhile, at the very least.  I will go in this evening to talk with a few friends, but I may not even do that, since the friends I still need to talk to are all pretty much here.

I should have took the lead from Anisovaya's bf.  He told me in game that he was quitting.  I was like, No way!  You can do it in moderation.  He says, no its an addiction, and I need to stop.  And apparently he did.  And he told me that he hopes that I would take his example.  Unfortunately I didn't.  If I had at that time, I truly believe my wife would still be at home.

Please examine your own life, and how WoW factors into it, and be honest with yourself about how your loved ones perceive your time spent.  Do you spend it with them?  Or with the game.  And yeah, I know there are couples who play together.  But if their whole evening, every evening, is spent in the game, its a sad thing.  Get out and ride a bike.  Go sailing.  Go to dinner together.  Anything but let the fire of real human passion die.
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Krellarom

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2010, 10:53:03 AM »

Hey Blood, I feel bad for your situation as I know first hand what you are going through.  Much of what you said pertains to me, and in some ways the similarities are too painful. I too spent way too much time in-game and neglected my wife, kids, and household.  It took some very difficult and heartfelt conversations with my wife to get me back on track. I still play, perhaps too much, but just like a kid and cartoons I have a limit that I can not exceed.  I get X number of hours a week to use when I please, but after that, no WoW until the next Monday.  Sometimes I use it 1 hour night, sometimes I spend all day on Saturday playing.  My wife doesn't say a word and I make sure NEVER to go over my weekly limit.  This has worked wonders for our marriage, my kids, and our home.  I can honestly say that I'm a good husband and father now, where I spent many months being neglecting my family.  I believe that I have made amends and my family is as close-knit and loving as any you could find.  I do homework with the kids, take long walks with the wife, and keep the lawn mowed.

If you ever want to chat, in-game or out, about my struggle with game addiction, just send me a PM and we can exchange contacts.  Take care bud and know that we are here for you if you need us.
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Elpally

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2010, 12:03:51 PM »

I've come to realize how crazy addicting this game can be. If you struggle with self-discipline, like I do, then WoW is a very hard thing to play casually. I think what has saved me is that I'm very active in ministry, so I've constantly got things going on and that limits my WoW time. Last week, my wife went out of town on a ladies get-a-way, and I easily laid down 5-6 hours a night. My main toon is at 79, so I was pushing hard to get to 80. Now, when I log on, I typically run my daily instance to get my badges and that's it. I'm sure once I hit 80, I'll get a new routine and perhaps get sucked in a little more.

I've really enjoyed all of your posts, Blood, but let me encourage you to take some time away. Family will always need to come first, so do whatever it takes to mend the relationships. Sending prayers for strength, encouragement, and peace in your life and in your home. God bless!
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Isilador

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #3 on: September 08, 2010, 01:40:00 PM »

I agree, I am currently back in school and am beginning to cut back my wow-hours before home work gets ridiculous. One thing I have found helps a ton is finding something you love more than wow. Whether it be a hobby (I play rugby, and LOVE it) or spending time with someone dear to you (currently 20 yrs old, I am not married, nor do I have kids but have friends and family I love very much). I find I only think about wow when not doing these things and can get away from it easily enough. You just have to find that something in your life. We will all miss you blood, as stated above, if you need someone to talk to we are all here for you, and as stated I will gladly exchange contact info with you.
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Impaqt

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2010, 04:33:13 PM »

Hi Steve. I feel your pain, and yes share some your concerns. As a 50yo I sometimes wonder why I spend so much time in gaming. But then, gaming has been part of me all my life. I recently had a big flare up with my 15yo son, so I watch my game time closer now. I make sure to spend some family time, some kid time, some wife time every day. I can easily be obsessive. Last few years it was Football Manager, before that Rome Total War, before that something else etc all the way back. Luckily, my wife and I are both fairly geeky and understand that in each other. But it's easy to let the game take control. We just can't let it, or need to recognise it and do something about it.

Good luck with getting things back on track. I will also be happy to exchange contact details and when you feel like talking at 2 in the morning, it's 4pm for me... sometimes the 14 hour time difference can be a good thing.

Kel





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Robert

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2010, 04:47:36 PM »

If I could make a suggestion it would be to find/make distractions.  I have a great boyfriend who works a jacked up schedule being in the hospitality business and I have a regular 9-5, so my WoW time often gets out of control because I’m home alone and can only clean the place up, do the dishes, or laundry so many times.

I, personally, found that my WoW time was getting ridiculous when I was alone.  We generally set aside time for each other when we are both available and though that CAN mean sitting in the living room watching TV while I play WoW, we try and make the most of the time.

I got back in the habit of going to the gym and we got a puppy.  She now keeps me off WoW for the most part because before or after the gym, we head to the dog park or do some training.  Being a better person is the big picture solution IMHO.

I had a friend in a similar situation, and he found that setting aside wife time is the way to go.  He doesn’t really raid, but with the new badge system we run an instance or 2 and then he logs when the wife gets home unless it’s a WoW sanctioned night for him.  You would be surprised how much turning off the game goes when you are trying to impress someone with quality time.

The last thing I would suggest, if you decide to continue to play, is to work on finding a guild that meets your time constraints.  I have, unsuccessfully, been trying to find a Cataclysm guild that will only raid 2 nights a week for about 3 hour blocks.  I’m not worried about progression or top server ratings as much as I am quality time that I feel is paying off with a proper investment.  What I’m trying to say is, the more organized my WoW time is, the more fulfilled I am after logging off.  Set strict obtainable goals, but never pursue those goals at the cost of real life obligations or priorities.

Best of luck man.
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Saangreal

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2010, 05:37:57 PM »

Wow - Blood, this really came as a shock and as an eye-opener to myself, man. I'm so sorry your wife left you, and I hope very much that you can repair your relationship.

My GF is sleeping, but I can't go to bed because I usually fall asleep long after her. So I went to the toilet, and after that sat down to check if there was something new and interesting on Wow.com or on Tankadin and came upon your post.

I'm not close to ruining my relationship, but I can definitely see that as a slippery slope. I checked my Iphone, and 6 out of 8 pages open in Safari were wow-related. I've just put maybe 20 hours into grinding a new druid to 80 this week. This week! And yet I have such a job that I can easily get away with it without it affecting my work, and at hours where my gf isn't home. I just signed on with a progression guild and they want me to gear my druid for ICC as fast as possible. At the same time, I'm thinking that my mage is one of the few classes I haven't dinged to 80...

From now on, I'm definitely cutting down on Wow and putting that time spent into something more useful. I've erased all alts that aren't 80, and even one of my paladins (I had two at 80, both with epic flying. Who the hell needs two!? I don't even really like my paladin from stress while tanking!).

As I said, this was a real eye-opener for me. I still like playing wow, but I think I will stick to maybe getting a couple of emblems every day and maybe raiding once every week, but the main lure is really to play with my cousin and brother who have recently joined wow.

Even though you're probably feeling a right mess about now, I hope that you'll take solace in that your message reached someone.
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Bloodniron

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2010, 08:55:58 PM »

I appreciate all of your comments, encouragement, and understanding.

I wish it were simple enough that I could just make a deal to play a certain amount of hours a week, and have my little bit of fun. But right now, I'm not even gonna consider it. I do like to think that I could play in moderation, but I'm not going to be the one to suggest it. If she suggests that I could go back to playing in moderation once we have things worked out and down the road a ways, I'll likely take her up on it.

I just got my [Relentless Gladiator's Scaled Shoulders] yesterday, so that I could equip my [Blade-Scored Carapace] and still have the 4-piece bonus. At this point in time, I'm so frustrated, I'd love to get online and just duel in the sewer awhile. And who knows, I might. But I think that I shouldn't. Not right now. But I will log to talk to friends.

Funny, I'm literally a knight in shining armor (after all, that's what a Paladin is, right?) in the game, but I need to become one in real life. To treat my wife like the Queen she deserves to be. I do think there's hope that she will return, and we will work things out.

And yes, there was more underlying it than just my addiction to Warcraft. There's all the projects that I start and leave undone because I'd rather play Warcraft. There's the bills that didn't get paid because I wasn't online to pay bills, I was online to play Warcraft. There's the weekend that I should have went to see my brand new Grandbaby, but chose instead to stay at home. Supposedly I was getting ready for school, as it was starting. But... I spent the vast majority of my time in... you guessed it: Warcraft. Did my room get ready? No. In fact, its still a mess, because instead of hanging out a few hours after school to straighten things up, I've been hurrying home to play... Warcraft.

But I don't blame the game. I'll relate what my 22 year old son told me last night. I remember coming home last December or so, and finding him in WoW one afternoon. He played a few more minutes, then left. The toon he created that day has stayed exactly the same to this day. He's never touched it again. He said "Yeah, its a fun game. I spent 6 hours playing, doing all sorts of stuff. I even went fishing in the game. Then I said screw this, and went fishing in real life." And its true. Of course, he's a very physically active person. But I see him play games all the time. Usually just a silly one-player game for a short time. Then he gets up and goes riding his bike, or fishing, or to his band rehearsal... My children are wise beyond their years.

And he said, "Dad, its an addiction. Its the same as a guy who's addicted to crack. Only difference is that he does drugs and zones out for hours, whereas you play Warcraft and zone out for hours."

I can't let this rule my life, bottom line. If I can play short periods, have a little fun and then leave, no prob. But the game is not designed to be played that way. There are a thousand diversions. Dailies, Weeklies, Raids, Run-thru's, Randoms, BG's, PvP, fishing, exploring... Not to mention the friends (and I've made some good ones), or guildies, who sometimes put demands on your time, and ya often feel obliged to help out. The game can easily suck away one's life without one even realizing it.
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krick

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #8 on: September 08, 2010, 11:50:07 PM »

World of Warcraft is carefully designed to be an incredibly addictive time-vampire.  You aren't the first person to have relationship problems due to WoW and I guarantee you won't be the last.  I think that the only way that Warcraft can work when you're in a couple is if *BOTH* of you play it together.  I have a couple of close female friends who never thought they'd get into WoW, but ended up getting hooked.  So don't rule it out as a possibility.

When I first started playing, I'd stay on the game 6 hours a night, 12 hours a day on weekends.  Eventually, it got old and I managed to wrestle it down to a few nights a week.  Then recently my job got very hectic and I stopped playing WoW "temporarily".  Before I knew it, I was away from the game for nearly 2 months, so it's a lot easier to walk away than you might think.  I'm sure that eventually, I'll be back, probably when the expansion comes out.

My advice, quit cold turkey for a few months.  Get your relationship back on track.  Eventually, maybe you'll be able to talk your wife into creating a character and you guys can play together.  If you manage to get that to happen, make sure that you ONLY play when she plays.  If she gets tired and logs off to go to bed, log off too and join her.  There's nothing in WoW that can't wait until another day.

johanullen

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #9 on: September 09, 2010, 01:14:49 AM »

Quit now, leave for a month and when you come eventually, if ever, come back do it in moderation. It is true that the game is designed kill lots and lots of time but you don't have to do it all, you don't have to do your end game raids, weekly raid, daily instance, daily quests, daily BG, weekly arena and so on and so forth, you can still enjoy the game by only doing parts of this, it is when you try to do everything that you get screwed over and have to stay online 12 hours a day. I've never been a fan of the end game to be honest, it tend to be too elitist and more importantly time consuming, now I've had my share of the addiction and girlfriends complaining but fortunately I've never been hooked up so bad that I've joined a raiding guild. I think what has saved me is that I can't raid on regular hours because I live overseas, in Hong Kong and I still play on EU servers, so regular raiding hours 7-10pm (or something) is not reasonable as it is 1-4am here and it just won't work. I still tend(ed) to go online around midnight as that was when my friends came online and I played with the an hour or too, and my gf went came up and says, much like blood's wife: "I'm going to bed now, goodnight" and I reply "I'm just finishing this little thing up". Well at least she accepted that I play the 15-30 minute daily and usually I stuck to only that, often I had time to do that before she even came over (we don't live together and spend only a few evenings a week together). What I think annoyed my gf even more than actual playing was the part that I spend reading and writing in this forum, it does take quite a lot of time to read through all the posts every day and to reply to half of them takes even more time.

I still read the forums now, I don't post as much though, but I'm not playing anymore, I've crossed over to Starcraft 2 in the wait for cataclysm. I understand that the pre patch events have started now though and I think that might be the que to warm up my account again and play a little more, I'm in no hurry though as I'm pretty stuck in sc2 as well has just having bought a wii with new super mario bros. wii which I can play with my gf and that is something she really loves.

So my advice is (one more time) freeze your account, it will be a few days until it actually expires I guess so take that time to inform your friends that you won't be online for a while. I don't think you should be afraid to actually play anything, do an arena match or two if your partner(s) is online, just tell him/her/them that this will be the end and he/she/they have to find a replacement. Avoid getting caught up in time consuming activities such as raids though. Once you come back to the game decide what you want to do, don't try to chase all the rabbits at the same time but stick to either PVP or PVE, don't force yourself to do daily things every day just do things you have time to do when you have time to do it.

While not playing get your shit together, I remember you saying you had lots of hobbies, playing in a band for example and many projects, start getting back into these things and make a habit of still doing them if you start playing later, and make sure that the sum of all your things don't ruin what is important. RL > WOW
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Azrael

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #10 on: September 09, 2010, 06:49:29 AM »

Hi Bloodniron,

I had a huge post ready in my head to put into the thread I started yesterday, and then I read your thread here.

I think I am going to call my wife instead  :-[

I am just the new guy, and I know you don't know me from Adam but I have been on the way to where you are now and you have my thoughts and best wishes. I hope you get things sorted out with your wife and you get your life back. Maybe then WoW can be a part of it, but thats all it ever can be, a part nothing more, we all have to remember that. Your post has certainly served as a timely reminder to me and I thank you for that.

Az
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Bloodniron

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #11 on: September 09, 2010, 12:55:26 PM »

Thanks guys for the continuing support and understanding. I took off work today - I cried an hour or more, laying on the floor, pacing frantically around the empty house, etc... But she's 500 miles away, if my reckoning of where she's at is correct (staying with her brother). Then I did something I haven't done in a long time - called my Pastor. Did I ever mention that my B.A. is in Theology and I spent 2 years as an Associate Pastor several years ago? He and his wife are not only close to me and mine, but we consider ourselves 'friends,' not just church members. But I haven't talked to him in some time, for whatever reason. Warcraft had taken over everything in my life. But not really Warcraft. I was using it to escape the financial issues that have developed, and to escape the person who got invited to stay with us a short time 2 years ago, but has just now also left, who would insinuate herself into our conversations and life... I was using it to escape my talents, believe it or not. I've played my songs in front of thousands of people, but something in me just doesn't wanna focus and 'make it,' or something.

But talking with Dan (my Pastor) helped a lot. He has a thing he does when he's counseling with someone, called 'Refocusing.' And that is simply to get you to go back over your life, think about the significant times, what was happening, where was your life leading at that point, etc..., to get one's life back on track. So I'm gonna do a little of that today, and also call Consumer Credit Counseling, and just take some positive steps to get my life back where it should be.

And at that point, maybe I'll set aside a little time once in awhile for Blood to go kick someone's ass in the Arena. But I think for now, its too soon for that.

And yeah, Johanullen, you mention remembering about my music (which, by the way, is linked in my sig. Just rough demo's, but gives an idea...). I have neglected my talents while playing this game. I have several albums worth of original compositions in my head and hands that I should be recording. But instead... I play... Warcraft. 

Not anymore. Not for awhile anyways. I'm getting my house, my head, my heart in order, and hopefully my life with my wife.
« Last Edit: September 09, 2010, 01:01:49 PM by Bloodniron »
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Krellarom

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #12 on: September 09, 2010, 01:18:04 PM »

I am sure that I am speaking for many us when I say that we are proud of you Blood.  You are facing some very tough times, and you are already taking steps to get the important things back in order in your life.  Warcraft will be around for many many years, and you can come back anytime.  But right now continue to do whatever it takes to get your wife back.  Focus on the important things and when you get peace in your life again, we will be here waiting.  Good luck bud and keep in touch.
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Elpally

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #13 on: September 09, 2010, 02:24:18 PM »

On a side note: Be careful using Consumer Credit Counseling. A lot of those debt consolidation companies are a rip off. Let me turn you on to http://www.daveramsey.com, who is a Christian financial guru who gives out incredibly sound advice for getting debt free and living debt free. My wife and I have been following his plan for 3 years. No gimmicks or scams, just easy baby steps to follow to regaining control of your financial life. You can also stream his radio show from 2p-5p EST on his website. God bless!
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Bloodniron

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #14 on: September 09, 2010, 03:55:45 PM »

Thanks guys! Sadly (or not so...), I know of Dave Ramsey, and have a few of his books. I -we- just have not followed his counsel...

And maybe your saying that is a confirmation, as I was talking with our younger daughter earlier (she's 24) and she said about the same thing, about some (maybe most...) of the consumer credit companies being a rip off.

Anyways, I'm gonna keep on keepin' on. And yeah, my WoW subscription does not literally run out until almost the end of this month. I just couldn't go in at all last night, I was not up to it. I will see how I'm feeling this evening, to talk with some peeps. I just want my life - my wife - back.

Oh yeah, as for the getting her to play thing, well, if we had a 2nd computer, even then I don't believe she would really dig it. But as our financial situation is wayyyy less than desirable, we can't get a 2nd computer any time soon.

I'll check back in later, gonna work a few projects here in the house. Thanks again!
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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #15 on: September 10, 2010, 04:57:22 AM »

Blood, I'm sorry for your troubles man. Its really a sad situation. I read the other responses and I don't wanna beat a dead horse.
I'll keep you in my prayers that things work out the way you want. I guess I can say that time is what you both need at the moment. Get your thoughts straight and put your priorities in order.

Keep us informed and best of luck.

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #16 on: September 10, 2010, 06:00:50 AM »

Hi Blood,

Thanks for your open comments. I think you are very honest to yourself (and us) that you think yourself and your wow-addiction are the problem. This is the first step on the road to come clean of it again! i fully agree with you that it's needed to unsubscribe from the game alltogether (as you said you would). I think it's a great choice and the choice that will restore your self-respect. It's only a game and shouldn't impact your life (that much). Now I can only hope for you that your wife will relent and come back. I'd suggest spending a lot of time with her in the coming months. Find a hobby together that does not have to do with computer games and really take time coming together again!

I've got the agreement with my GF that I only play the game when she is away or my single night I play with my IRL friends - monday night-. This works well enough, but I can feel too how tempting it is to log in ' just to check up'.

Best regards,

Vince
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velkaer

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #17 on: September 10, 2010, 06:45:56 AM »

Hi,

I also know where you're coming from. I was heavily addicted and so was my wife. Only difference is that I left my wife (now-ex) because she found a new online "boyfriend" in another country in WoW. Truth be told, I am thankful that she did, because it was a big eye-opener for me. We had 2 kids, so it was really unfair to them, but they weren't really getting any attention from us anyway.... Now I have new girlfriend who isn't a gamer at all (and thats a good thing). My order of priority now is very simple EVERYTHING ELSE>WoW. Only time I play WoW is when there is nothing else to do. So basically only time that I play is when I am home alone - and that is rare. Cannot fit raiding in the schedule and that is fine with me...done my share already. If you dont know how addictive wow is, check out www.wowdetox.com and you will see the destruction in its wake. Not the game's fault - true, but the game certainly helps ;)

Velkaer - mostly logged off
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Bloodniron

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #18 on: September 10, 2010, 07:37:35 AM »

Thanks for that link. I figured there was something like that out there.

I am distraught, to say the least. I have always been the kind of person who imagines the worst. And that's not a good person to be. Since I have not heard from Paula yet (well, she said she would call Sunday and Sunday is 2 days away... and maybe that's just the timeline she gave herself, and is sticking to it...) I'm going crazy imagining all the worst scenarios.

I have to go to work this morning... no, I shouldn't say "have to" because I did not go yesterday and I was covered. (Substitute teachers are a dime a dozen, lol... or not-so-lol...)  But I will make the attempt today. I just can't shake my thought processes and the fact that my guts are twisting and turning.

You know that opening sequence of Trash in ICC, where if ya don't get all the party in thru the door, the mobs keep coming? That's kinda how I feel. And that's the first 'Wow thought' I've even came close to having since getting home Tuesday. Once again I did not log in last night, sorry to anyone who may have been looking for me. At this point I just don't think I can handle it.

I just want my life back. The real life I should have been giving Paula all along. I've cried my eyes, my mind, my heart out until my face is a swollen red blob, eyes and all. I'm trying not to cry this morning.

Well, I'm just going in circles. I've been given so many wakeup calls that I did not heed... I just hope that me waking up NOW! has helped. I'll check in this evening, or earlier... You guys comments do indeed help.  Thanks.    :'(
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Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a room. A round room. A round rubber room. A round rubber room with rats. Rats? They drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once. They...

Ironshield

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #19 on: September 10, 2010, 08:47:29 AM »

Hey Blood,

Just to concur with the jist of the thread and add my commiserations and prayers and best wishes for the future.

I see the tendancy towards addiction in myself and I'm trying my best to keep it in check. I have been hooked on other games / hobbies before (including things as mundane as Farmville) but the difference (and danger) with WoW is the shear scale of things... it takes a lot longer to get bored and the multiplayer aspect encourages you to try advance at an artificial pace to keep ahead of others. I am trying to force myself to go at a sedate pace, and remind myself that a couple of emblems of frost are really not important... but the temptation is huge.

Anyway all the best!

PS on behalf of the WoW community, don't worry about virtual friend's feelings about not seeing you at a time this. Any reasonable person would definitely understand that you have more important things to deal with!

Bloodniron

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #20 on: September 13, 2010, 11:42:28 AM »

An update: My wife finally spoke with me yesterday, and it seems that I have a lot of 'proving' to do that my life is changed.

It will take some time. Time to exorcise old demons, and not just WoW... Time for new habits to truly take hold.

So I have not been back into WoW. And I have not played any other game. And I am not playing games in my life.

I have taken off work again today, as I just can't think of anything but us. I have a continual loop of condemnation against myself playing in my head, and its driving me nuts. I so wish that I had heeded all the warnings, all the "heads up's" that had been given along the way.

She's about 400 miles away, staying with her Mom. I want so much just to go there, but without her permission, she would likely just get mad...

I still haven't called the Employee Assistance Program to see about some counseling, and think I'm about to do that. Being here in this house alone is driving me batty. Paula and I have been together since I was 18. I'm now 48. I don't know how much more of being alone I can take. I know that there is hope, and I need to have faith that things will work out, that they just need time, and need some true good habits formed (and that takes time... time I don't feel like I have)...

I'm weary,
my heart is broken,
and my stomach is tied in a sailor's Monkey's Fist knot


I ask all of my friends of faith to pray for my wife and I. Pray that we may have true reconciliation. Pray that our house may be a home again. Thank you...
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Krellarom

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #21 on: September 13, 2010, 11:59:08 AM »

Hey Blood,

We are here for you.  I think that you are doing the right thing by dropping WoW completely and focusing on your wife.  This is just a game after all, albeit an incredibly addictive one. 

We will all keep you in our prayers and have faith in a positive outcome for you and your wife.  Do what needs to be done, get things in order and straightened out and we will be here to support you in any way that we can.
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camz

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #22 on: September 13, 2010, 01:23:04 PM »

  Blood you need to contact Employee Assistance Program thay are very good people i can speak for them, I had the pleasure of working for the one in our state and they are very understanding people  and will assist you in many ways. Blood i can not tell u i know how u feel because i have never been in your situation but you guys have alot of years together and i am sure you have been down some tough roads before but all them years together proves that you guys do have something special  and have worked through them before and shall again. Give her the space and time and prove to her you can change and that she is the only thing that matters. Maybe you can write her a letter and say it from the heart let her know she is your world blood. I hope this may have helped and please do contact EAP they are there to help in situations like yours. You are in our thoughts and prayers blood and please keep the faith it will work out my friend.
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Bloodniron

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #23 on: September 13, 2010, 02:59:59 PM »

Thanx Camz, Krell, Iron, velk, vince, chasey, Max, Azrael, Johan, krick, as well as my buds Ani and Impaqt for the PM's...

I have called EAP, and have an appointment to see a counselor this afternoon. They asked whether I wanted to see a man or woman, and I first thought man, but I need to know more the woman's point of view I think, so I'll be seeing a woman who appears from her picture (I looked her up online) to be about our age, perhaps a little older - late 40's/early 50's... I'm hoping it will be a good fit. She sounded nice on the phone. Anyways, I also got Financial counseling authorized and process began, and will call them back when I have all my info gathered on my debts.

I do intend to write a letter from the heart. I just have to keep in mind that she's stated that the words are not what she wants - its the actions that count. Anyways, I'll update again after I know more. Thanks for your concern.

And just think - a week ago, I was jone'sing over finally being able to get rid of my last piece of Furious Gladiator gear and Tuesday morning, that fateful day, I logged in before work and used my newly gotten Arena points to get the Relentless shoulders, and was so ready to kick some ass... Now its the farthest thing from my mind, and I have no desire for it. Maybe as I get a sense of normalcy back into my life, I'll be able to find a balance that will let me play "a little" and enjoy it for what it should be: a momentary diversion. But right now my heart is broken, and I can't begin to imagine playing.
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Amren

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Re: Warcraft Didn't Screw My Life Up, I Did...
« Reply #24 on: September 15, 2010, 04:48:12 AM »

Hiya,

I am new here too and am running down the same road. I just wanna say Thanks Blood. You are a Hero!! I think you have single handedly saved many of us from making a grave mistake, by giving us a wake up slap!!
My marriage of 11 years, my motorcycle, my church all puched aside.
Thank You for the Wake up slap. I too now am re-evaluating as I am sure many others are.

God Bless, Take Care and my prayers are with you...
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