I appreciate all of your comments, encouragement, and understanding.
I wish it were simple enough that I could just make a deal to play a certain amount of hours a week, and have my little bit of fun. But right now, I'm not even gonna consider it. I do like to think that I could play in moderation, but I'm not going to be the one to suggest it. If she suggests that I could go back to playing in moderation once we have things worked out and down the road a ways, I'll likely take her up on it.
I just got my [Relentless Gladiator's Scaled Shoulders]
yesterday, so that I could equip my [Blade-Scored Carapace]
and still have the 4-piece bonus. At this point in time, I'm so frustrated, I'd love to get online and just duel in the sewer awhile. And who knows, I might. But I think that I shouldn't. Not right now. But I will log to talk to friends.
Funny, I'm literally a knight in shining armor (after all, that's what a Paladin is, right?) in the game, but I need to become one in real life. To treat my wife like the Queen she deserves to be. I do think there's hope that she will return, and we will work things out.
And yes, there was more underlying it than just my addiction to Warcraft. There's all the projects that I start and leave undone because I'd rather play Warcraft. There's the bills that didn't get paid because I wasn't online to pay bills, I was online to play Warcraft. There's the weekend that I should have went to see my brand new Grandbaby, but chose instead to stay at home. Supposedly I was getting ready for school, as it was starting. But... I spent the vast majority of my time in... you guessed it: Warcraft. Did my room get ready? No. In fact, its still a mess, because instead of hanging out a few hours after school to straighten things up, I've been hurrying home to play... Warcraft.
But I don't blame the game. I'll relate what my 22 year old son told me last night. I remember coming home last December or so, and finding him in WoW one afternoon. He played a few more minutes, then left. The toon he created that day has stayed exactly the same to this day. He's never touched it again. He said "Yeah, its a fun game. I spent 6 hours playing, doing all sorts of stuff. I even went fishing in the game. Then I said screw this, and went fishing in real life." And its true. Of course, he's a very physically active person. But I see him play games all the time. Usually just a silly one-player game for a short time. Then he gets up and goes riding his bike, or fishing, or to his band rehearsal... My children are wise beyond their years.
And he said, "Dad, its an addiction. Its the same as a guy who's addicted to crack. Only difference is that he does drugs and zones out for hours, whereas you play Warcraft and zone out for hours."
I can't let this rule my life, bottom line. If I can play short periods, have a little fun and then leave, no prob. But the game is not designed to be played that way. There are a thousand diversions. Dailies, Weeklies, Raids, Run-thru's, Randoms, BG's, PvP, fishing, exploring... Not to mention the friends (and I've made some good ones), or guildies, who sometimes put demands on your time, and ya often feel obliged to help out. The game can easily suck away one's life without one even realizing it.